I woke up Easter morning feeling a bit sad. I was sad because I knew we would not be going to Easter church service. I was sad to not see extended family. I was just generally sad that Easter could not be celebrated in the way we normally would. And so the first couple hours of Easter morning I had a bit of a pouty attitude. I was mopey and down as I whipped up pancake batter and failed at hash browns. Side note: if anyone knows the secret to getting really crispy hash browns, please let me know. Mine always turn out drenched in oil and soggy.
This is the true picture of how our Easter morning started. I write this because this is just further evidence of how special and beautiful Easter truly is. This girl, who still manages to get in a slump on the most joyous day when we celebrate the Risen King, this girl, needs grace every moment. Left on my own, I will quickly lose sight of the big picture.
Praise God that he chose to love us forever and to sacrifice his one and only son. This is truly good news! If it were not for this radical act of love, I would be stuck in my misery over soggy hash browns and changed plans. Thanks to Jesus our day of Easter celebration was not ruined by my poor attitude. Grace filled in. And our Easter was not like any Easter previous, but it was quiet, intimate, and full of worship. And it was good.
The quarantine is showing me a lot of my shortcomings. One of them is how dependent I have come to the hustle and bustle of life. While we sometimes complain about it, I have realized I love a full calendar. I love rushing from one place to the next and stuffing our days with as much experience, people, food, and laughter. This is especially true when it comes to holidays. As much as we sometimes dream about a quiet holiday at home, the reality is I love the rush of a full day of celebration and people.
While there is nothing inherently wrong in this, over the years, it has made my heart numb to why we are celebrating in the first place. We say Happy Birthday, Jesus and He is Risen! but our hearts and minds are easily distracted by the feasts, gifts, and people all around us. At least that is the case with my own heart.
This year there were zero distractions. And initially, my heart could not handle it. There was no rush to get out the door. No need to iron the dress. There was no pressure to make some elaborate meal because it was just the three of us. And with all the normal busyness that typically fills days of celebration, our small family of three was left in our pajamas on the couch in quiet and peaceful worship.
We were not checking our watches to make sure we made the family Easter brunch in time. We were not scrambling in the kitchen. We were present and at peace and in full awe. The words of worship felt more crisp. The faces of my husband and son were in clear focus. The truth of the gospel has never felt more real.
This Easter will not be another blur of a holiday full of too many things and obligations, no, Easter 2020 will be the one where we really allowed ourselves the quiet space to sit in the emptiness of the tomb and truly feel the joy of what that means.
It will be the one where we worshipped on the couch.
The one with the big brunch.
The one where Hudson had an egg hunt all to himself.
The one where we all napped and then soaked in all the amazing online church services we could.
The one where we Face-timed and zoomed with family.
The one where we just sat out at our new fire pit and watched Hudson play.
The one where we ate too much candy and had a simple dinner.
This Easter I am thankful for the quiet, the extra time, and mostly I am thankful that Jesus rose for us. Even on mornings when we wake up with bad moods and eyes fixed on earthly expectations, God is gracious and loving and meets us where we are.
Happy Easter! He is Risen! Thankful that this truth remains just as true, regardless of the state of the world. And for that we have a lot to celebrate.
This Mama Needs Grace 
One thought on “Easter 2020 Reflections”