Somehow it’s already December 15th and let me tell you, December has not gone according to my carefully laid out plans. We haven’t taken nice Santa photos (the ones you want to frame) or seen Christmas lights or attended a single Christmas plan I had written down in the calendar. I knew this Christmas season would be different with a newborn, but I wasn’t prepared for all the sickness this month has handed us.

And I definitely wasn’t prepared to be spending multiple nights in the PICU in the middle of December. Our sweet Declan caught RSV from big brother and we had a dramatic entry into the hospital via ambulance when his oxygen levels were reading way too low at the pediatrician office. Since that Tuesday afternoon, we are entering our third night and still praying for him to turn a corner so we can head home. If you’ve ever spent any time in the hospital in the middle of December, you’re probably familiar with the great perspective shift this brings. Days prior I was concerned about making the magic of Christmas happen for my boys and now my number one priority is getting our whole family back at home healthy.

A few thoughts floating in my head as I sit in this hard chair and listen to the beeping of machines…

1. A “good” Christmas has nothing to do with what we do. What makes a good Christmas is something that happened long ago on a silent night. A baby in a manger is what makes Christmas and it truly is good all alone; we don’t need to add our own holiday agenda.

2. We can still make memorable Christmas memories while stuck at home. So far, we haven’t left our house much, but we’ve done lots of loops around our neighborhood. I made a little Christmas scavenger hunt activity and we used it to find different holiday decorations. I made this activity so it could either be done outside or inside the home. I also have a full week of Christmas curriculum for toddlers you can find here.

We’ve also been watching lots of Christmas movies. Our favorites: The Grinch (Illumination version), Prep & Landing (super cute show about elves on Disney +), Veggie Tales (they have a lot of great Christmas shows on Amazon Prime), and Frosty the Snowman (the boys current fave).

I have not had the energy to do a bunch of Christmas crafts or make gingerbread play-dough likely I usually would, but we made do with what we had on hand. I cut out gingerbread men out of brown construction paper and let boys decorate with materials we had on hand (big hit!). We still made gingerbread men out of play dough too but just used colorful store bought dough instead.

3. A simple Christmas is what my heart truly desires. I long this season for simplicity and to draw nearer to God. I’ve been having quite a bit more conversations with Him as I’ve been sitting in this hospital. I’ve actually had the space to draw nearer to Him and contemplate the true miracle of Christmas. As I was walking hospital laps, I listened to Reality Ventura’s sermon, God with us in our Waiting. It reminded me how hard it is to wait on the Lord when His timing is different from my own. If it was up to me, we would all be home. I need to wait and trust the Lord. I can be honest with him: God, I want to go home! But I also need to humbly wait and trust he won’t leave or abandon us.

This December I am continuing to learn to be less attached to my own plans and desires. The Lord really is teaching me to have a hands open approach that allows me to respond in an even-keeled way even in the least ideal situations. I’m sending a special prayer to all parents with kiddos in the hospital this holiday season. It’s so hard to see your little one in a hospital bed anytime but this season makes it feel especially lonely and isolating. Sending love and reminders you are not alone! God will carry you through, even in the waiting.

Before I even could hit the publish button, God answered our prayers and we got the news we get to come home tonight. Declan turned the corner and is back to his happy self. We are so thankful!