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This mama needs rest.
Resting is something that does not come naturally to me. I really wish it did because it is so important, but it doesn’t. In the moments of my day that actually lend themselves well for rest, I seem to resist real rest in place of what I am calling “pretend rest.” I think we all have a tendency to do this. Last night, I had an unexpected window of free time. This could have been an ideal time for rest. I could of curled up and read more of my book. I could have just laid down and turned on a show. I could of just closed my eyes for a few minutes and prayed. I could have done all these activities of rest, but instead I chose “pretend rest.” I chose to fold the laundry, while watching “Tidying Up.” What I really wanted to do was just lay there and watch Marie Kondo perfectly fold laundry, but that is too restful. I must do that plus something productive. Why do we do this? In my life, I seem to always blend rest with what actually needs to be accomplished, which ultimately results in mediocre rest. I don’t want mediocre rest. I want real rest. I want the type of rest where you just nap in the middle of the day, not because you are sick, but just because. I find the only time I truly grant my body rest is when it is fully in need of it. When I am hit with terrible body aches and feel sick, then I can just lay there and rest. However, if I am feeling good, I forget that I am still in need of rest in the middle of my days. I need to better grant myself permission to fully rest, not pretend rest. Pretend rest looks like folding laundry and watching a show. It looks like laying down while going through emails. It looks like emptying the dishwasher while listening to a sermon. Don’t get me wrong, these things listed above can be great ways to get things done while also relaxing or doing something more fulfilling, but I think the issue is when we deem these things as our true rest. Rest plus something else cannot equal pure rest. Rest alone equals pure rest. It is that simple.
I need a lot of grace in this area of my life. I need to not just rest and turn everything off, I need to rest in the fullness of what God has already accomplished and done for me. Everything I could do will never be enough. It will never save me. I am enough and I am saved solely through the grace of God. I was reminded of this truth as I read Paul’s words in Ephesians 2:5-8 earlier this week:
“You are saved by grace! He also raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might display the immeasurable riches of his grace through his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift- not from works so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:5-8).
I feel like I can end this here. There is not much else I can write that is not perfectly captured in those verses from Ephesians. It is all God. It is all grace. And it is all good. We are so little and are to-do lists are so insignificant to what has already been accomplished. Therefore, there is no point in filling our time with pretend rest when what we truly need is to fully rest in the goodness of God and his ever-sufficient grace.