Embracing Process Over Outcome

Last Monday, Hudson and I attempted to make homemade noodles. Like a lot of things in my life, I had a picture of what the outcome would look like. In my head, it looked almost identical to the perfect noodles pictured in Joanna Gaines’ cookbook. Let’s just say they looked nothing like the picture. While her’s actually looked like noodles you would have bought from the store; mine looked strange and unnameable. I couldn’t even will myself to post a picture of the outcome because they looked so strange. Something clearly went awry. This was not the outcome I was expecting.

All week I have been thinking about this soup.  I have been thinking about if my mindset was merely outcome driven, I would have been pretty disappointed.  And here’s the thing, I usually am outcome driven.  I am all about a clear measurable.  My heart rests a bit easier when I can see a spreadsheet of all the things I did accomplish in a day.  That is one of the reasons I love training for a marathon.  I love the outcome of high mileage.  Even if I produce nothing else the rest of the day, it feels good to know that I ran 20 miles.  That is an outcome I can be proud of.  But here’s the thing, what about the seasons where you are not training for anything? What about the seasons that do not have a clear goal or some outcome that can be measured?  What is the indicator of success?  

Those noodles the other night were not my definition of success.  However, Lance did snap a few quick photos of Hudson and I making those noodles.  And when I look at those photos, I see success.  I see happy faces and floured noses.  I see time well spent in the kitchen. 

There are a handful of lessons this season of quarantine is teaching me.  One is this: the process is always sweeter than the outcome.  In times where we do not have races, or stages, or arenas to display our outcomes, the process becomes essential.  We must lean in and embrace the sweet process of things and not be quite as concerned with the outcome.  

For me, personally embracing the process looks a bit like this: 

  1. Getting out to run with zero expectations on mileage and pace.
  2. Making noodles for the sake of spending quality time with my son with zero expectations that it will look like Joanna’s.
  3. Writing words for the sake of creativity and the fact that I am a better person when I am creating + vulnerable.
  4. Sending bold emails. There are lots of no’s, but I am embracing this process of putting myself out there.
  5. Trying new activities with Hudson and being absolutely okay when they do not look like Pinterest.
  6. Taking photos and capturing moments that are not perfect.
  7. Journaling. This is one of the best ways I can look back on the process of my life + see the Lord’s kindness.
  8. Prayer. This outcome-oriented girl needs a lot of help from the Lord to see new vision and embrace the process of things more.

Process over outcome.  It is freeing.  It allows room for grace.  It allows you to sit down at the dinner table still smiling as you eat noodles that look nothing like Joanna’s. It allows you to create, run, write, love, and step out in boldness because it is not about the outcome. It is something more. Something greater. It is about who you are becoming in the process.

Virtual Half-Marathon Recap

Last Saturday I wrapped up my Boston Marathon training block with a virtual half-marathon.  This of course was definitely not the way I imagined things to end.  I imagined loud cheers and bright red numbers illuminating my goal time of 2:48.  In my head, it was all pretty glorious and memorable.  

That vision will have to be saved for another day.  My virtual half was the next best option. And here’s the thing, it was entirely unglamorous.  It was actually pretty painful. When you start hurting in a race, you can really rely on the crowds and people to carry you through.  When I started to hurt at around mile 9, there were no crowds or expectations, and part of me just wanted to stop. Thankfully, Lance pulled me through and got me to a time of 1:23:45. 

Before I dive into the miles, I just want to say that Lance is amazing. I would not have been able to run that time or probably even have finished if it was not for his even pacing and encouraging words.  He is so even-keeled and I can be so dramatic.  The last 4ish miles, every word amount of my mouth was a complaint and a whine.  Lance is so good at not letting my negative thoughts or complaints change what he believes in me.  The whole time, even when I started to half-cry, he said you got this, you are going to run an amazing time.  I am so thankful God gave me a husband that not only cheers me on, but that believes in me more than I do.  

The Course

For this 13.1 mile course, Lance and I started at Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes and ended at a random street in Manhattan Beach.  The course was actually a really fun and beautiful one. It would have probably been even more enjoyable in an actual race setting. As a whole, there was a good amount of downhill, which I desperately needed.  The first 5 miles were all in Palos Verdes and there was a good amount of rolling hills. Every time we hit a hill, I lost contact with Lance. I used to pride myself on being a strong hill runner, but I am really struggling on the hills. My glutes are so much weaker and I much prefer the free speed from a downhill.  

Once we got out of Palos Verdes, it was mostly downhill + flat, but these were the miles I also struggled on, so a lot of this section of the course was about holding on and just making it to the 13.1.

We drove the course a few days before, so we knew we would finish right around the Manhattan Beach Pier.  It was just about a quarter mile past the pier. Since the strand and beach is currently closed, we finished on Ocean Drive.  

The Miles

Mile 1- 6:15

Mile 2- 6:20

Mile 3: 6:17

Mile 4: 6:34

Mile 5: 6:09

Mile 6: 6:16

Mile 7: 6:01

Mile 8: 6:14

Mile 9: 6:33

Mile 10: 6:38

Mile 11: 6:30

Mile 12: 6:44

Mile 13: 6:38

The mile splits were a bit all over the place, but the average was 6:24 per mile.  Right when I finished and hit stop on my Garmin, I smiled when I saw the 6:24 average.  That was my exact goal pace for the marathon. Obviously I ran only half the distance, but I was proud to be on that pace in a non-race environment.

Miles 9-13 were rough to say the least.  Aerobically, I felt great. I had the capacity to complain and whine to Lance.  It was all in my head and the right side of my body. I was feeling pretty good up until the 9th mile.  Then, began to mentally check out. Running hard on quiet streets is mentally tough!!! My whole right side of my body was also beginning to tighten up.  My right leg was definitely in pain. And because there were no other racers or crowds, it was the only thing I could focus on. The pain really got in my head.  I am a pretty tough runner, but I was so mentally and physically tired that I began to shed a few tears. People we passed at the end probably thought I was crazy.  I definitely had trouble pushing through the pain and it definitely slowed down my last few miles.

The Finish 

Still, I finished.  I definitely did not sprint in like I usually do.  I was maxed out. 1:23:45 was all I had on that day.  And I am really proud of this time. Not only, is it the easiest PR to remember: 1-2-3-4-5, it is a time that I can say I fought for.  I pushed through. I did not give up. I adjusted when original plans fell through. I kept going because here’s the thing, running Boston was never really about running Boston.  It was about honoring God. It was about chasing dreams. It was about remembering I can still fight and run hard.  

All of this ended in a very different way than I had imagined it would.  But in some ways it all makes sense. It ended on an alley. There was no music (headphones stopped working a few miles in), no people, no cheers, no finish line.  Yet, in this place of quiet, in this place of literally being in the shadow, I put one foot in front of the other. I hit my Garmin exactly when I saw 13.1 and I immediately went to sit on the curb.  Done.  

As I was finishing in this quiet alley, my reflective self could not help but think that this is how I want to continue to live out my days for the rest of my life.  I hope and pray that regardless of the stage, whether it is an alleyway or Boston or the Olympic Trials, I can run my heart out.  

The same is true with my own life.  Whether it is writing to an engaged audience of thousands or just one girl that needs to hear the words, I pray that the performance and the heart behind what I do always remains the same.  The reality is that I have only an audience of one.  This seems to be a theme in my own life.  I wrote about this concept nearly a year ago.  This is when I can actually act out what I write.  It is easy to write it out, but I am convinced the real transformation happens when we actually live out the words we preach.  

These past few weeks, I have had to really dig deep.  What do I do when really no one is watching? How hard am I willing to push myself when the cheers are silent?  Will I keep writing when it sometimes feels like only one sweet friend reads my words? Yes. I will keep running, writing, pushing, dreaming; until God says otherwise.  

This is the freeing part.  It was never about the stage.  It was never about Boston. It was about saying yes to the dreams and visions God has put on my heart.  Whether we are in a pandemic or not, I will continue to say yes to God even if that means running for 13.1 miles on empty streets.  

In typical fashion, the words are running away from me.  The point of this post is to share about my virtual half-marathon, but more so it is to encourage you to not be afraid of saying yes to God when the stage looks dim.  To not be afraid to treat things like they are really, really big deals, even when you are running in the shadows.

With this goal virtual race complete, I am going to take some time away from running. I am feeling a bit burnt out. I am ready to take a bit of a break, but I so look forward to my next season with running.

P.S. SO thankful for my husband, coach, pacer, and encourager. You were the best coach because you know me so deeply!

My First Virtual Race Experience: 10k Edition

Last Saturday morning, I sipped my coffee and ate my typical pre-race breakfast of almond butter + oatmeal.  And to the pit of my stomach, I felt the race nerves building.  

Here is a little confession: I was nervous for my virtual 10k I was running in a couple hours.  You might think this is funny. And I can see why, but I was actually really thankful for the nerves I felt on that virtual race morning.  From the outside world, it might seem strange and even silly to be nervous for a race that has no crowds or audience or big outcome. But internally, this is the greatest sign to me that I deeply care about being the best runner I can be, not because of the major marathon on the calendar or the applause of the crowds, but because I love the sport and every time I step on the line (or virtual line) I want to perform at my very best.

Race Nerves

In college, the nerves often stemmed from a fear of disappointing my coach and my team.  The pressure I felt collegiately ran deep.

The first year postpartum, the nerves stemmed from wondering if I was even that good at running anymore after a couple years off and a baby.

But last Saturday morning, the nerves were my friends.  They reminded me that I care about running no matter what the stage is.  

It is easy to care and be nervous and feel the adrenaline when you are running on the track with some of the best collegiate 5k runners in the region.  It is easy when you have crowds cheering and yelling for you.  It is easy when it feels like a big deal.  But how you respond, when it is very much not a big deal, to me, that is the better indicator of your drive and motivation and love.  

So those nerves Saturday morning over coffee and oatmeal, were welcomed.  For those that have run virtual races in the past, you know that one of the hardest parts is not having the adrenaline of a typical race full of crowds and a big finishing line.  I knew those race butterflies would be helpful to get a little adrenaline to push me through.    

The nerves seemed to quickly subside when I started running.  Taylor Swift’s Reputation began on shuffle right as I started my Garmin for the 6.2 miles.  With music booming in my ears and the lightness of my racing flats beneath me, I focused on the back of my husband, ready for him to pull me along.  

Race Breakdown

The first mile felt easy and controlled.  5:50. 

Miles 2 and 3, I settled in and got comfy.  6:04 and 6:03, respectively.

Miles 4 and 5, I started feeling tired and the reality that I did not have the normal race energy and crowds to pull me through, hit me.  I was suddenly made very aware that I was running through a relatively empty street. I turned Swift up a bit louder in my ears and tried to not let my husband run away from me.  6:07 and 6:06, respectively.

Mile 6, my legs came alive again.  I took a quick glimpse down at my watch and knew I would definitely be under the 38-minute mark.  At this point, I was definitely feeling fatigued and a bit unmotivated, but as we were getting closer to the “finish line,” I saw a group of familiar faces clapping for me.  This was totally unplanned, but seeing familiar faces from the local running community, including my high school coach, who I adore and look up to, really made a difference.

With a bit of extra energy, we stopped our watches right when we hit the 6.2 mark at 37:20.  Hands on knees, I smiled and high-fived my wonderful pacer.  

A Year Ago

To be honest, I was hoping to be sub-37, but I was still really proud of that time.  It was even more significant because almost exactly a year ago I ran LA’s Race to Remember.  It was my first race back postpartum. I ended up winning the 10k with a time of 38:04. That race was really special to me.  It was a reminder of my love for the sport. It was a reminder that I was not only still a runner; I was a competitor. You can read the full race recap here.

Even though this past Saturday, I did not get to run through finishing tape or get interviewed at the end, it felt like a lot of progress to be 44-seconds faster in a non-traditional race setting.  

This makes me excited for future races (both virtual and in-person). 

 It makes me excited to keep chasing down times.  

It makes me excited that my progress as a runner does not need to be dependent on a race or crowds.

I can still push myself.  All I need is a watch, my flats, an empty road ahead, and my speedy husband.  

Don’t get me wrong, I look forward to pushing myself on big stages, like Boston, but for now, these virtual races are a welcomed and needed friend.

Rambling Runner Virtual Race Series

Thanks to Matt Chittim from the Rambling Runner Podcast and the sponsors for making these virtual races happen.  There are still two races left! The half-marathon and full-marathon. You can find all the info on how to join, right here.  It has been a really key aspect to keep me focused, motivated, and excited to keep stepping out the door.  

5 Things to Keep Doing During Coronavirus Pandemic

Now more than ever, the routines we have in place are essential for getting through this time of pandemic. Our calendars have emptied and we are uncertain what the next few weeks will truly look like.  We each are affected by the outbreak of COVID-19 in different ways. I can only speak from my own experience. Since we do not yet have school-aged kids and I stay-at-home with our toddler, our routine does not feel drastically different. 

With that said, last week I internally struggled not having our usual routine filled with toddler class, park playdates, and library outings. I was left wondering: how should I spend this extra time?  Should I just sleep in? Should I just watch all the movies during H’s nap time?  Should I just stop training since the marathon is postponed?  Should I just mindlessly consume social media and let everyone’s thoughts and opinions and anxiety seep into my own heart? These personal questions plus more have been bouncing in my head the past two weeks.

And the answer? Keep on keeping on.  Keep doing the same rhythms I do on a daily basis, minus of course the things I can’t do.  If you are feeling stuck, in a rut, and confused about how your days should look in this new normal, here are a few things I am continuing to do during the coronavirus pandemic, we are currently living through.

1. Keep Waking Up At the Same Time 

After everything was postponed and cancelled, my first thought when my 5:30 alarm went off was sleep in.  I have a feeling that more people probably are sleeping in.  It makes sense. There is less of a need to urgently get out of the door.  I get the temptation and the reality of sleeping later, but for me personally, that small choice can really mess up the rest of the day and my own attitude.  Keeping up with this rhythm of still rising early has been an important piece of keeping me grounded. Now more than ever, I need this quiet time to process with God, to read His Word, and journal out what is in my heart.  

2. Keep Moving (Running is always a good option).

In the midst of all the hard news and fear surrounding us, I have been deeply encouraged to see SO many people using this time to get moving outdoors.  The New York Times in an article last week, even called it “a back-to-basics exercise boom.”  As I am typing this, running, walking, and biking outdoors is still within CDC guidelines. And for that, I am really thankful. 

If it comes to the point, that we can’t run outdoors, I am not exactly sure what I will do, but for now, I am deeply appreciative of my hour runs outside. It feels like freedom, it feels accessible, and it feels essential.  We need movement. Whether that is doing those push-up challenges cropping up all over social media or walking the dog around the block or lacing up those running shoes that have been gathering dust. This is the time to make movement a daily rhythm of yours.  It is essential.  

3. Keep Setting Goals 

With the cancellation or postponement of so many events, races, conferences, and gatherings, it is easy to just scratch all the goals you made at the beginning of 2020.  Along with being routine-oriented, I am very much goal-oriented. I need a clear goal to keep me focused and working hard. With the Boston Marathon’s postponement, I decided I desperately still needed a goal to look forward to and motivate me to continue to get out the door. 

As I wrote about last week, my new goal is to run a sub-1:20 half-marathon in a virtual race.  Obviously, not quite as thrilling as hitting the streets of Boston, but this goal is still keeping me engaged and excited to get the miles in.  This is what it looks like personally for me, but I think it is possible for us all to re-write and adapt our original goals.  This is no time to throw out goals altogether, instead, let’s pivot and adjust. 

4. Keep Connecting 

God made humans to be in community.  We are literally wired for connection and community.  This is one of the MANY reasons, this new time is so challenging.  As much as my own introverted self is perfectly okay spending most of my time with family, this time has reminded me the great value and importance in connecting with others.  It has been encouraging to see so many having virtual meet-ups with friends and Face Times that go beyond the casual “hi” and extend to really hanging out and enjoying time together.  Keep doing this. Keep scheduling time to see your people virtually! Hudson is not quite at the age where I think a virtual playdate would work, but if you have older kids, I found this creative list of virtual playdate ideas.  

5. Keep Praying

Well, of course.  But in full transparency, I know when I begin to get fearful, anxious, and out of my normal routine, sometimes the first thing to go is my daily conversations with the Lord.  Please don’t let this one go. God is listening. He is not surprised with any of this, and I truly believe he desires to teach each one of us something essential during this time of staying at home. 

Are you listening? Are you willing to hear what he has to say? Are you telling him your own concerns, worries, and fears? Please keep praying. Pray for all the medical professionals working tirelessly.  Pray for the elderly that may be especially fearful right now. Pray for those with compromised immune systems. Pray for those personally affected by COVID-19. Pray for those losing jobs. Pray for our grocery stores and the lovely people working in them.  Pray for the students that deeply depend on the structure that school life brings to their days. Pray for the teachers. Pray for the parents. Pray for those that live alone and depend on social gatherings. Pray for our world and for deep healing on a physical and spiritual sense. Christianity Today, put together 20 prayers that can help lead you to pray during this time.

In all the uncertainty and change, let’s work together to keep some things the same. Keep rising, keep moving, keep looking forward, keep connecting, and most importantly, keep praying. 

Also, keep attending church (virtually).

Keep reading books.

Keep having family movie nights.

Keep chasing trash trucks on Mondays.

Keep fort-building.

Keep washing your hands.

Keep taking your vitamins.

Keep sending birthday cards.

Keep the sabbath.

Keep creating.

Keep drinking coffee.

Keep walking the dog.

Keep grocery shopping.

Keep cooking and baking and ordering take-out.

Keep online shopping.

Keep reaching out to your mama.

Keep taking baths.

Keep watering the plants.

These little, unchanging things are becoming more beautiful to me with each passing day.

What are the things you are keeping in your life right now in the midst of pandemic?

Final Marathon Monday…For Now.

3/16- MANY WEEKS Until Boston. 

Well, a sure lot has changed in a week.  Last Monday as I typed up my weekly recap, I remembered feeling concerned with a cancellation, but still confident that there would be enough time for the virus to be contained and for the race to still happen.  I also was not super informed or in the know about what really was happening and the seriousness of it all. Obviously, I was wrong and the marathon has been rescheduled to September 14th.  

And I have some feelings about it. 

Initial Feelings

I want to start with the fact that I 100% agree and understand the postponement.  I also understand that with everything going on in the world right now, the fact that the marathon I personally have been training for and dreaming about for the last year, is actually quite insignificant.  Trust me, I get that there are much greater concerns and there are many people that are dealing with more significant loss and more difficult situations.  Yet, my heart still feels disappointment. And I think that is okay for me to admit. It seems pretty small, but I can still be disappointed.  

I keep the same Google document for all of my “Marathon Monday” posts.  Even though it has been a few days to process the fact that Boston will not happen in 5 weeks, as I scrolled down my document, I did become emotional.  Seeing all the numbers, the podcasts, the protein bars, and the people that played a role in the last several weeks of training, got me. I am human and quite honestly as I scrolled through I was brought back to all the miles, the sacrifice, the extra help from family and friends caring for Hudson to make this dream happen.  Being brought back to this place with the knowledge that things are not going to play out the way I envisioned does make me a bit sad and makes me question well, what was even the point? 

After some reflection, I can tell you this, there actually was a whole lot of purpose.  

The Dream to Run the Boston Marathon

First, I want to backtrack a bit.  It was actually almost exactly a year ago that the idea of running the Boston Marathon became a dream.  As I have written about in the past, it was not until about a year ago that I fell back in love with the sport of running.  I write all about it in this post where I recapped my first real race postpartum.   I titled it “Running to Remember” because the race really was an act of remembering why I loved running in the first place.

That first race back, coupled with the buzz around the marathon, made me certain that I wanted to run the Boston Marathon.  The only problem was that I needed a qualifying time before September 15th. By the time I decided this was my goal, a lot of the fast spring marathons were already happening.  This is when the plan to run the San Francisco Marathon was born. Again, you can read all about what that race meant to me here.  In my love for creating alliterative titles, that one was called “More than a Marathon.” It really was more than a marathon.  In this marathon, I got the outcome I wanted: a BQ, however, it was the process of training and having a reason to get out the door that really brought transformation. 

After qualifying and a few months of getting out of a good running rhythmn, January began the process again and I had my eyes set on a clear goal of running a sub 2:50.  Even though at first, I was not feeling as excited to begin marathon training again, by February I was all in and was beginning to feel more fit and excited about the ambitious goal I had set for Boston.  This training cycle I definitely struggled with energy, but as a whole I am really proud of the solid work I put in. In last week’s training, I had some of my most effortless runs and a really strong track workout.  

Process Over Performance

I want to take a second to talk about that track workout.  I did this workout on Wednesday. Going into the workout, things were not looking good.  It was looking like the race would most likely get cancelled or postponed, but there was no official word, so we still went to the track in the evening.  And I am really glad we still did.

The track is one of the most painful and beautiful things to me. Every time I do a track workout it makes my whole body hurt, but it also sharpens my brain in such a way that I often am struck with really insightful realizations in the midst of pain.  I know, weird, but stay with me. This workout was no different. It hit me around the 7th interval. At this point, I was fully feeling the pain and still had 4 more 1,000’s to go. Part of me was wondering what is even the point. No coach, no team, probably no race. But the bigger part of me, refused to quit. It no longer mattered.  This was about something bigger.

This whole past year of training has been about something bigger. I was determined to finish all ten of those 1,000’s. I was determined not because I had a coach pressuring me to do so or because I had a bunch of teammates that were doing it. No, I was determined to do it because I could and because I have learned that it is not always about the applause we receive or the medal we get swung over our neck, it is about the process.  It is about doing hard things. It is about pushing yourself and seeing how good you can get.

Don’t get me wrong, the cheers, the finishing line, the official time, those are really nice elements to work towards, but I am convinced it is actually the process towards them that are even more important.  

Looking Ahead

Boston 2020 likely won’t happen for me.  As I always write about, I love to run, but it is not everything for me.  Training for a marathon is a big commitment and it takes a lot of squeezing in and sacrifice.  It is absolutely worth it, but I don’t think I have the mental capacity to start that cycle over again so soon.  I am most certain that one day I will run it, I guess 2020 is just not my year to do it.  

That is a lot of words, to ultimately say this: I am sad I won’t get to run Boston this spring, but I am ultimately really thankful for this process.  Through the process, I fell back in love with running, and if I am honest, I fell back in love with myself. I know, I know. So cliche. But it is true. Life post-baby was SO HARD on my spirit.  Early motherhood shook me to the core, and running came in at just the right time and helped me feel more normal again. It took my hand and gently became a dear friend again.

It put no pressure on me, it was fine with stopping, it was fine with days off, but it slowly began to reveal the pieces of myself I thought were gone were in fact still there.  It showed me that I can still be competitive and serious and focused and fast, but I can do it in a way that works with my life. With that said, how can I be too sad? Boston 2020 gave me exactly what I needed, hopefully future Boston, will give me the time and the celebration. I can wait for it.  

So, do I just stop training?  NO. I am in really good shape right now, and I am still curious to see what kind of time I can run for a half-marathon.  On April 18th, I am going to run a virtual half-marathon race.  Lance is going to pace me and my goal is to run 78 minutes.  More updates on this as it gets closer! Who knows if I will be able to run that pace solo outside of the race environment, but I am going to try! 

To end, here are 3 major takeaways this unexpected marathon training ending has given me.

Major Takeaways

  1. God’s plan for my life is always better.
  2. God is working even in the hard times.
  3. There is much more to life than the marathon.

Okay, glad I got all that out there.  That is all. Now, let’s run a fast half-marathon…alone!

Marathon Monday: The Miles to Boston Pt. 7

6 Mondays Until Boston!

6 weeks out.  Fitness is really beginning to develop and the realities of the race are beginning to feel more real.  The past week of training was solid. There were no major bumps or extra pain. I can tell that my lungs are becoming more efficient and my legs are feeling stronger.  This past week I hit 60 miles, ran a strong 6-mile tempo, and hit my longest long run by doing the Drives Loop in Palos Verdes (21 miles).  

Every week it seems as though I have some major highlight and some major complaint, but this week, I really don’t.  It was one of those solid weeks of training where nothing really went wrong, but there was nothing majorly exciting.  It was very much a put your head down and grind it out type of week.  

The workout was a good one.  I actually have yet to do a tempo that long in this training block.  6 mile tempos were essentially the only workouts I did leading up to the SF Marathon.  With some convincing from my coach (Lance!), he agreed to let me do an effort-based tempo.  It was supposed to be more of a mile pace-changing workout, but I was feeling pretty tired heading into the workout, and it felt like my body could really use a nice steady state run with minimal looking down at the Garmin.  It felt so nice to just run for 6 miles based on my effort. I rarely looked down at the Garmin and pace was all under goal race pace, so to me that was a success.  

The Miles

  • 8 miles with jogger on strand 
  • 7 solo park loop miles
  • 10 miles with 6 mile tempo (6:09, 6:23, 6:28, 6:17, 6:26, 6:18) 
  • 8 miles with jogger on strand
  • 6 solo miles on the road 
  • 21 miles on the Drives.  Hilly loop in Palos Verdes with very few stops.  I felt strong.  I only did this course one time in last training cycle.  I was hoping to be quite a bit faster, but was only about 1-minute faster.  But hey, I’ll take a minute. We also stopped way less than last time. 

What I am Listening To

  • I spent most of my runs listening to recaps of the Olympic Trials.  Of all the recaps I listened to, the one that definitely hit me the hardest was Sarah Bishop’s interview on The Road to the Olympic Trials.  I have mentioned my love of her before on this blog, but this interview was so emotional and resonated so strongly as another mom who at times struggles with the guilt of chasing after running goals and dreams.  It was so beautifully captured and it literally made me cry as I was running through the foggy roads at 6 am in the morning. This is worth a listen.  
  • Also on the topic of the trials, I was really moved by Molly Seidel’s performance of making the team and getting second place in her debut marathon performance.  I wanted to listen to a podcast interview with her and discovered the Running on Om Podcast.  This episode with Molly was recorded over a month prior to the trials.  The podcast episode was made even more powerful as I knew how the story went with her making the U.S. marathon team.  All of her struggles with depression and an eating disorder were parts of her story that I was unaware of. It was a really powerful episode showing that the external success we see does not always tell the whole story.  

You need to be mentally well in order to run your best. Winning these titles in of themselves mean nothing. Like I was unhappier than I’ve ever been probably after those two national championships, it just felt like nothing. And like some of the greatest joys in my life have come after races that I didn’t even necessarily do that well, but you have people surrounding your life that you care about and your body feels good and just like things that bring you joy.” -Molly Seidel

How I am Fueling

  • Perfect Bars (new bar obsession)
  • Beet Juice from Trader Joe’s.  In college, I always got beet juice the day before a big race.  I am pretty sure it makes you faster! 
  • “Orange Crush” this was the name of the pressed juice, Hudson and I shared after our Thursday run.  It was from a juice and vegan foods stand at the farmer’s market and it was the most delicious juice I have ever had.  It was an immunity blend with turmeric, ginger, mango, oranges. 
  • More berry crisp. 
  • Spicy Mendocino Farms sandwich post-long run. 

Recovery

  • Park stretches 
  • Earlier to bed
  • Staying inside more.  Typically, I try to do a lot of things outdoors with Hudson.  Training has definitely hit my body and I am finding that it is really helpful to keep our days more simple.  It basically has looked like this: run, small outing, nap, stay inside, bed. I really can tell overexerting myself affects how I feel on my run and my attitude towards L + H.  Working on keeping our days as simple as possible until race day.  
Buzz Lightyear wanted the matching band!

Cross-Training 

  • Yoga membership is officially done, so no more strength classes!  
  • At this point, my cross-training truly is pushing the stroller (great for core) and chasing and lifting and playing with a 21-month old during the day.  Not your typical cross-training, but I truly feel like just living out my life outside of running keeps me moving and gets me strong.  
  • It has been fun to do planks and band exercises with Hudson on the mornings I run early.  It doesn’t last long, but it is so cute to see him trying to mimic the exercises I do. He actually has pretty good form when he attempts a plank.  This is a total side tangent, but one of the many things I love about marathon training is that it is setting an example to Hudson. I love that he gets to first-hand witness the hard work that mommy puts in.  I love how he gets to watch us pass guy runners on the strand. I love how mommy can be the one that cares for him, but also the one that chases her own dreams.  

What I Keep Telling Myself 

Press In. Press In. Press In.

Maybe it is all the pressed juice I have been consuming, but there has been something about this word of “press” that has really resonated with me during this training block.  When I was beginning to get the tinges of being uncomfortable during the end of my tempo, the words press in got me to lean in a bit more and dig a bit deeper.  When I was in the last 10 k of my 21 miler on Saturday and my hips were again on fire, press in got me to stay mentally in it.  

It is easy to check out the moment things get tough or uncomfortable or too hard.  This mantra of press in is changing things for me. It is acknowledging that yes, this is in fact hard, but it also is saying I am not afraid of it and I want to see what I can do in these hard places.  This is the mentality that great marathon times are made of. Press in is carrying me through these last 6 weeks of training.  

The Long Run 

For this week’s long run, I ran the Drives Loop in Palos Verdes, which is one big loop that is 21 miles long.  I actually really enjoy this loop because it is challenging with lots of rolling hills. There is something about running one big loop that mentally actually makes the whole run feel not as long.  I also had a sweet running friend agree to meet me three miles in and run 18 out of the 21 miles with me, which was so nice of her and made 21 feel way less lonely.

Overall, I felt really strong and controlled.  The hills still felt challenging and the last 5 miles or so my legs definitely got the fire, painful feeling, but as a whole it was a good run.  

This loop ends on a downhill, which is my favorite way to end a run.  It felt good to let go in that final mile and get some faster turnover in.

I did not do an intentional workout in this long run.  To me, this course and the length is enough work, but I tried to stay as steady as possible. 

In terms of nutrition for this long run, we just ran out of our Maurten Gels, so had to use Honey Stinger Energy Chews.  Not my first choice, but Target has a really terrible selection of energy gels.  It worked well though and settled in my stomach fine. Continuing to practice taking the Salt Stick Fast Chews towards the end of these long runs and loving the extra kick it gives me when electrolytes are low. 

Here are the stats:

  • 2 hours 37 minutes
  • 21 miles
  • 7:30 per mile 
  • Mile 11 and mile 21 were the fastest in 6:50 and 6:51

Marathon Monday: The Miles to Boston Pt. 6

7 Mondays Until Boston! 

Another week of training in the books.  This week did not feel particularly good, but I hit most weekly mileage for this training block, made it into 2 strength classes with Petra, and had a solid 20-miler.  So while things did not feel great (low energy, throbbing legs, tender toenails), hard things still got done. This past week felt like an important week of pushing through and getting some solid work in.  I know there are really only a few solid more weeks left of really hard training before the taper will begin. I want to take full advantage of this time to push myself and run hard and long.  

Even as I type up this recap, I can tell my enthusiasm and motivation to do so is a bit lower than it was last week.  Last week, I just wrapped up a great week of training where I felt amazing. This week is a different story. My toenails feel like they are going to fall off.  My head feels foggy and tired. The fatigue is really beginning to set in. With that said, I am going to keep this short and sweet so I can maybe lay down for a few minutes before Hudson wakes up!

These easy sunrise runs are some of my favorite miles of the week.

The Miles

  • 8 miles on the strand with jogger
  • 7 solo park loop miles
  • 10 miles with a workout (3 miles of slightly faster than goal race pace, 6:15ish + 4 x 1 K, these were supposed to be 5:40ish pace, but I was dying and did not hit pace) 
  • 8 miles on the strand with jogger
  • 6 solo park loop miles 
  • 20 miles! Solo.  Headphones made it a bit less lonely. This one hurt, but after the fact, I was pleased when I saw overall stats for the run.  More on this at the end!

The only part I want to expand on is that Wednesday workout.  I am the type of person that hates changing a workout. I am pretty determined to hit all my splits and finish a workout in its entirety.  This was not the case for that Wednesday. It was supposed to be 5 Ks, but I texted Lance after 3 and asked him what I should do since I was dying.  I was already way off pace and felt empty.  I ended up doing one more and calling it a day after 4.  This is so not me to cut it short, but I also know my body really well and on that day, my body was done.  There was nothing left. After recovering for a couple miles on the way home, I tried doing some pick-up 100 meters to make for the shortened workout, but even that felt hard.  

Besides the fact that my body is still adjusting to more mileage, it was also super hot out (hello, February in Southern California) and I am not very good at changing pace.  The 3 mile tempo part felt totally fine. It was right when I started the thousands that my legs felt like bricks. I need to work on getting better at changing gears.

What I am Listening To 

I listened to a lot of different interviews this past week.  There were a lot of solo miles with headphones. Of everything I listened to there was only one episode that really stuck with me and inspired me.  It was an interview with Veronica Jackson and Alex Bernardi on the Ali on the Run Show.  They both ran at the trials! They are two friends that pushed each other to believe in this shared goal of qualifying amidst full-time jobs and families.  I love their story. I love their dedication to dream big together. This episode was a treat to listen to and it made me really want to find a group like the women that run at 5:45 in Central Park.  Maybe, we just need to move to New York.  

How I am Fueling

Really it is all the same.  The only thing I need to add is Trader Joe’s cold brew latte dessert bars made the perfect mid-afternoon pick me up as my energy was really dragging in this hot week of training. 

Also, salt sticks, which I mentioned last week, has been a real game changer for me on my long runs.

Bowling with family really was the perfect way to spend our 20 miler.

Recovery

  • Sunday Nap 
  • Stretching at parks, while Hudson plays
  • Bowling? After our 20 miler, we bowled with Grandma Jo! It was a good reminder why I run and I don’t bowl.
  • Clearly, not a whole lot of recovery being done.  I really need to commit to rolling before bed. 

Cross-Training

  • 2 strength classes with Petra.  This will probably be my last week of these classes, since my membership just ended. I am likely not going to renew it.  I am going to have to figure out a way to supplement these classes in the weeks of training ahead.  This will probably involve some creativity and planks in our living room.

What I Keep Telling Myself 

You will eventually feel good.

This was not my week.  Things are hurting. The workout nearly killed me.  However, I still have confidence that fitness will come together in the remaining weeks and I will eventually wake up actually feeling good!  The time will come.  

Also, telling myself that the whole Boston experience is going to be so much fun.  It is beginning to feel closer and both Lance and I are getting more excited. We both will have family coming to watch, which is super special and just last week, we all got tickets to a Red Sox game.  Maybe not the best pre-race activity for a pro, but hey, that is not us, so anything goes, really.  

High + Low

HIGH

  • Hudson has finally gotten used to being back in the jogger and he has been an angel on our 8 milers.  My pace has been real SLOW on these jogger runs, so he has been extra patient to hang out in jogger for a bit over an hour.  
  • 20 miles! It did not feel perfect, but 20 miles is 20 miles.  It always feels like an accomplishment to get these 20 miler training runs in.  

Low

  • So tired!
  • The workout 

The Long Run

Thankful to have a community of loving family and friends that help out with Hudson so we can get our long runs in! Also, Hudson learned to say “Google.”

This long run was a bit different from the typical one.  Since family friends were watching Hudson, we decided to save a bit of time and run from their place in Hermosa Beach and just go out 10 miles and back 10 miles.  From Hermosa, we both made it pretty far into Palos Verdes.  

The run itself was a good mixture of flat, road surfaces and hilly trails.  It was a bit lonely, since we both did the run solo, but I think it built some good mental toughness.  

The last few miles were definitely a bit painful.  My hips felt like they were on fire. I pushed through and even got some faster mile splits in as I was on a flat surface.  While, I chose to not do an intentional workout, I did focus on staying as controlled as possible and getting faster in the last half.  

Here are the stats: 

  • 2 hours 31 minutes
  • 20 miles
  • 7:34 minutes/mile average.  
  • Fastest mile was the 19th mile at 6:36.  

Okay, I am exhausted.  This is all I got for this week.  Hopefully next week I can report with a bit more energy and enthusiasm!

Marathon Monday: The Miles to Boston Pt. 5

8 Mondays Until Boston!

Things are finally feeling like they are coming together fitness wise.  This past week of training, a lot of the pain from last week went away and I was left feeling really strong.  

This was a solid week of training.  I think the slight down week with a shorter long run last week, helped my body recover.  I hit 55 miles and ran my longest run of this training block. The Wednesday workout really surprised me and faster pace came more naturally.  The workout was a huge confidence builder and it made me feel like my 2:48 goal is indeed possible.  

This week, running came easily.  The miles flowed together without a ton of resistance on my part. Things did not feel like quite a struggle compared to the previous week.  This week, I felt like I was doing exactly what I was made to do.  

As much as I sometimes fight against going out on a run or getting a hard workout in, there is no denying that running is the place I feel most at home and confident.  

I was reminded of this during my workout on Wednesday.  Prior to this workout, I was feeling a bit all over the place. The house was a disaster.  The body felt tired and unmotivated. The baby was vying for my attention and I felt distracted. 

This is the headspace I was in when I started my workout.  It was in the middle of mile repeats that I hit a stride. Suddenly, the mess, the tiredness, the distraction, all melted away.  I felt laser-focused. Everything within the home that was pulling at me, mattered a bit less. All that I saw was the next mile before me: each one clicking away. These sub-6 consecutive miles did not feel nearly as hard as I was expecting. It felt like I was made for them. My training so far made these mile repeats actually feel fun.  It felt, in a weird way, like medicine. The very thing my body and mind needed.  

Find your mile repeats.  For you, it might not look like running hard miles on the strand and obsessively checking your watch.  For you, it might be in the kitchen as you whip together a Baked Alaska. For you, it might be behind a canvas with a paintbrush in hand.  For you, it might be in the garden. Whatever, it is, find your space where you can feel at home, confident in doing hard things. Find your own mile repeats that can remind you of your strengths.  The mess at home will slowly melt away. Something changes when I am out there running hard miles. The mom hat is off. It is just me, the road, and the clock. I can run with a freedom in being able to push myself as I lean into the gifts God handpicked for me. 

Clearly, I had a good week with running.  Let’s get into the details.  

The Miles

  • 7 miles on the road with the jogger. 
  • 6 solo park loop miles
  • 10 mile workout with 4 x mile on the strand with ¼ mile recovery (5:52, 5:45, 5:53, 5:56).  Felt STRONG. This was a big confidence building workout for me. These were done solo and of course I was working hard, but they felt much more natural than I was expecting.  This got me feeling more excited for what is possible. 
  • 8 miles with jogger on the strand
  • 6 solo park loop miles
  • 18 miles on Quarter Horse (HILLY!) in PV 

What I am Listening To

This week is the week leading to the Marathon Olympic Trials in Atlanta!  4 years ago, the trials were held in Los Angeles. Lance and I, along with some LMU teammates went to watch it.  At the time, I was really not into marathoning or even knew much about the process of qualifying for the trials. I wish I would have appreciated the opportunity to watch those trials more. While we are not going to Atlanta, we are excited to watch the trials from home.  Naturally, a lot of what I was listening to on the run revolved around that upcoming race in Atlanta. Here are some that stuck out to me:

  • Sarah Bishop’s interview on The Road to the Olympic Trials.  Sarah really pumps me up anytime I listen to her interviews.  First, she is a mom to 4, which I am so inspired by. Second, she is so fearless in stating ambitious goals and making them happen.  It really struck me that her plan going into the trials is to run a marathon and then fly to New Zealand to do a triathlon.  Definitely not normal, but I loved her confidence in owning that this was the plan that she wanted to pursue. In the interview she talked about her goal of breaking 2:40 in the Mesa Marathon, which was the following weekend.  It gave me chills when Matt at the end of the interview said how she met her goal by running a 2:39. Not to mention, she won the whole thing. I love this so much. It inspires me to be more bold in my running goals. 
  • Towards the end of my long run when I had to extend a few miles, I put the headphones in and listened to the Women’s Marathon Preview with Erin Stout and Alison Wade.  It was fun to hear all the names they are expecting to be contenders for those 3 Olympic team spots.  
  • Not related to the trials at all, but I also very much enjoyed an interview with Andrea Barber (aka Kimmy Gibbler from Full House) on the Ali on the Run Show.  It was such an interesting conversation and I had no idea she was also a runner.  It made park loops this week go by faster.
  • And of course, Taylor Swift was on shuffle for those mile repeats.  

How I am Fueling

  • Mid-week, I felt like baking and something sweet, yet healthy.  I made a berry crisp. This is literally the simplest recipe! I got it from Shauna Niequist’s amazing book, Bread and Wine.  You can find the recipe here.  It is the simplest ingredients that I almost always have in my pantry and it literally takes minutes to whip together and then pop in the oven.  This was good fuel to pull Lance and I into the weekend. Confession: the two of us literally ate the whole pan of crisp. 
  • Post-18 miles I tried a new pancake recipe that was a hit.  We are big Coach’s Oats fans over here. It is what I eat every morning before I run.  It is also the oatmeal I used in the berry crisp. I got this peanut butter pancake recipe from their website.  It was so good. I added some chocolate chips, which I would definitely recommend. Also, replaced the regular milk for almond milk. There is no sugar, maple syrup instead and the peanut butter adds a nice nutty, sweetness. It was the perfect pancake post-long run. The recipe doesn’t make much batter, so I would double it. 
  • Steak 
  • Turmeric Smoothies 
  • Salt Sticks (took a couple of these during the long run and loved them)

Recovery

  • Compression Socks 
  • Sunday nap 
  • Sunday bath 

Cross-Training 

This week, I was forced to slow down and not go to as intense of workout classes.  It was probably for the best, but it was not part of my plan. My typical class with Petra was already full by the time I got there, so it forced me to go to a yoga class.  I was feeling a TON of shoulder/neck tightness and pain. In the class, we used blocks to focus on this area, so it was actually exactly what I needed.  

Thursday, Lance had a meeting, so I could not make it to class, so instead did 10-minutes of my own strength work in the living room.  It consisted of band work to strengthen my ever-so-weak glutes and some planks or attempted planks. Hudson was climbing all over me and sitting on my back, so that made it a bit more challenging.  Not perfect, but hey, 10-minutes of strength is always better than zero.

Friday, I made it to another yoga class.  Again, not as intense as I like it, but got some much needed hip stretching in.  This could very much have been the key to the long run feeling so good.

What I Keep Telling Myself

8 weeks is still a ton of time to build fitness. 

It is also a ton of time to get burnt out and get injured.  I am still dealing with some major mileage comparison, but I was reminded this week that I actually am in a really great place fitness wise.  I definitely need more time, but 8 weeks truly is a ton of time to grow in fitness. This excites me. 

High + Low

HIGH

  • Feeling strong
  • Miles don’t feel as hard
  • 18 miles
  • Confidence building workout
  • Berry Crisp + peanut butter pancakes

low

  • Comparing my mileage to others and getting mental about it. I need to stop it!
  • Not making it into Petra’s classes this week

The Long Run 

This was the longest run this training block and it felt great.  First few miles had some pretty steep uphill trails, but even on the uphill I felt strong.  It really was not until about mile 16 that my legs tightened up a bit and I was reminded that I was running long.  To me, that is a sign that I have not done enough long runs yet. And I haven’t, but I still have a few weeks to get in a few more good long runs.

The other thing I noticed, actually both Lance and I noticed this, was that we felt really good right after.  Usually, it takes awhile to recover after a really long run, but almost instantly after stopping, my legs and lungs felt weirdly good.  Again, this makes me feel excited for April 20th.  

The long run in numbers:

2 hours 19 minutes

18 miles

7:44/mile average 

Fastest mile: 18th mile, 6:41

Marathon Monday: The Miles to Boston Pt. 4

9 Mondays Until Boston!

This week of training, I struggled with some doubt and body pain, but ended the week with greater confidence.  It is amazing how in one mile of a marathon you feel terrible and are questioning everything and the next you feel like you could run that pace forever.  Things change quickly in marathon racing. You go through so many different emotions in the course of 26.2 miles.

Last week of training, reminded me of how fast things can change, even when it comes to training.  It reminded me to not get overly concerned when I have one bad day of training. Early on in the week, I really struggled with body fatigue and foot/hip pain. These aches and pains are all too familiar.  The good thing about now running for over a decade of my life is that I am very attuned to how my body works. I know exactly what I need to do when I start feeling hip or foot pain. Maybe this is the reason the pain does not seem to linger too long.  At least not for this week.

Tuesday, I felt literally terrible.  However, by Thursday, my body felt entirely different and my 8-mile run did not feel nearly as painful. Things change quickly. Painful days and the days full of doubt don’t last forever.  

The interesting thing with feeling so terrible is that last week was actually a slight down week.  We have been slowly building since January, so this week was a 4-mile drop.  I have noticed that in down weeks, my body usually doesn’t feel the greatest.  This pattern also helps me not feel overly concerned with the lower engery and pain I experienced in the past week.  

The doubt of questioning my goal time, mostly came out during my Wednesday workout where pace simply felt way harder than I was expecting.  Doubt is something I really struggle with on and off the run.  It is werid to even admit this because faith is such a large part of my life and who I am.  Faith in God and faith that He has me in His hands comes much more naturally to me (all thanks to grace).  The doubt is more in the form of doubting myself. I trust God with my whole heart, but it is my own abilities that I often lack faith in.  She is faster.  She is smarter. She is better.  A small glimpse of the dialogue that is contantly running in my head.  Not to get overly reflective and spiritual, but I do believe the Lord uses running in my life as a way to help me work through these seeds of self-doubt.  

I want to believe that a 2:48 or faster is possible.  I want to believe that I am in good fitness. I want to believe that I can be competitive come race day.  

The Miles

  • 6 miles with the jogger
  • 6 miles solo 
  • 10 miles. 3 mile warm-up, 3 miles of 20-seconds faster than goal race pace, 4 mile cool-down.  6:02, 6:10, 6:09 (supposed to be all 6-flat). At least, I tried. Also after a mile, I was fully recovered, so this is still an encouragement! 
  • 8 miles with the jogger
  • 5 miles solo 
  • 14 miles with Lance with 3 miles thrown in at slightly faster than race pace

Still dealing with some mileage comparison and anxiety that I am too low in mileage.  I trust Lance and I know he knows me best when it comes to running. Mileage is not crazy high, but I know the quality of work is good.  And there is still so much time to build and get those 20-milers in.

What I am Listening To 

Last week of training, I spent most of my miles listening to the “Love on the Run” series of Ali’s show.  She released a new episode each day of last week with an interview with a professional running couple. I loved it!  

I especially enjoyed the conversation with Aisha Praught and Will Leer.  They might be way faster, but even professional runners struggle with being annoyed at each other on the run.  For Lance and I, we have had way too many fights (always revolved around pace being too fast) while running together, so this very much resonated with me. 

I also loved the conversation with Steph and Ben Bruce.  I am such a Steph Bruce fan and especially loved hearing from both of them.  I am definitely inspired by the way their marriage really functions as them being such a team on and off the course.

How I am Fueling 

  • Hudson’s Z-bars 
  • Coconut water
  • Protein shakes 
  • Heart-shaped sugar cookies and chocolate (the best part of running just for fun: no limits on sugar cookies) 
  • Post-long run sushi! 

Recovery

This week, I really focused on my feet!  Pain in my feet have really flared up (I am pretty sure I have a bone spur in my left foot).  If you were to look at my feet, you would probably be deeply concerned. They are not looking so hot right now.  The left foot is in especially bad shape with what looks like a bone spur and a good sized blood blister. All this to say, my feet hurt.  My strength teacher I go to, used to be a dancer, so she had a lot of good foot exercises for me to do.  

  • Rolling out with a ball and/or frozen water bottle.
  • Foot strengthening exercises, like using toes to grab towel.  This basically just gets me to curl my toes and I can tell this is drastically helping.
  • Yoga toes almost every night seems to also be providing relief. 

Along with foot recovery, also got some jacuzzi and pool time in after our long run at the hotel we were staying at.  We basically went back and forth from the hot tub to the pool. In the pool, we swam and kicked our legs around. It felt so good after our long run earlier that morning.  Perfect afternoon recovery.

Cross-Training

Continuing with my 2 strength classes per week.  My goal for the coming week is to start incorporating more plank work.  Hopefully that will happen!  

What I Keep Telling Myself

The pain is temporary.  The pain is temporary. The pain is temporary.  

This week hurt.  It is easy for me to let the pain takeover my mind.  I am really trying to focus on the fact that it is temporary.  Whether it was a regular run dealing with overall body fatigue or a tempo that felt uncomfortable, my brain needed to remember that it is temporary.  The workout on Wednesday was initially discouraging to me because I did not hit the right pace. I also ended with hands on my knees, breathing HARD. This was just about 14-seconds off my goal race pace.  That really shook me. This should feel WAY easier! I focused too much on the pain, I do wish I could have dug in a bit more and remembered the pain is only temporary. Next time.

High + Low

HIGH

  • Long run with Lance
  • Completing the workout, even though I almost stopped when I was hurting and off pace.

low

  • Overall body pain and fatigue 
  • Feet really hurt! 
  • Tempo pace is feeling harder than I would like.

The Long Run

It is funny how your perspective with mileage really begins to change as you begin marathon training.  14 miles right now feels like not even a legit long run. As I mentioned above, this was a down week. Especially after a week of not feeling great, it was good timing to have a shorter long run.  Lance and I went on a staycation in Newport Beach last Saturday, so we ran in Orange County, instead of our typical PV long run. We ran at Aliso Woods Canyon. This is a beautiful trail and one of my favorite spots to run when we are further south.  We even saw deers on the trail! Since it was a shorter run, Lance decided to run with me. We actually did not have a single argument on our run, which is a big deal. It was a great way to start off our weekend together!

It turned out to be a nice run, especially on the way back.  It was not as hilly and the last few miles we stuck to the road and Lance paced a portion at my goal race pace (6:24).  He paced it perfectly, despite me complaining all 3 miles of it telling him it was too fast at parts and too slow at parts.  Even though I grumbled through it, those 3 miles at race pace were a good encouragement to me. For most of it, my breathing was extremely controlled and conversational.  We hit a 6:21, 6:22, and 6:14. Even in just these 3 miles that would still give me 15 seconds of wiggle room.  

The long run in numbers: 

1 hour 40 minutes

14.03 miles

7:10 min/mile average

Fastest Mile: Mile 11, 6:14 

Marathon Monday: Miles to Boston Pt. 3

10 Mondays Until Boston!

The thing I love about running, is that it almost always seems to be teaching me something that goes far beyond the miles on the road.  Of all the things running has taught me so far, the biggest lessons are in commitment and discipline. On the windiest days when you are pushing the jogger into a literal wall of wind.  On the days where your whole body is aching and the thought of cutting those 17 miles down keeps cropping up in your head. On the days where stepping out the door feels like a great mental battle.  It is on these days where you still show up, still follow-through, that the real training begins.

This past week of training was the first week where I really struggled to hit my mileage.  The excitement of the early stage of marathon training has already faded within me and I have been hit with the reality of the simple fact: training for a marathon is hard work.  Just like an actual marathon, it is those first miles that are easy and fun. Then somewhere in the middle, you are hit with the reality that you still have 13 miles to go and things become a little less fun.  I am officially over the honeymoon stage of marathon training and not quite yet at the exciting tapering stage. This in-between spot of training can be tough: mileage is increasing, workout intensity is increasing, and long runs are increasing.  The finish line still feels far away. 10 weeks is a bit too long to get super excited. All this to say, last week was a good week in training in the sense that even when I wasn’t feeling it, I pushed through.

I can get so obsessed with what my Garmin tells me.  I want to hit the exact mileage every single time. I want to be within a pace frame.  I want to hit my faster miles when I am doing a workout. This past week, my garmin was not my friend.  It died on runs. I forgot to start it after stopping it. It kept telling me “6:10” when all I wanted to see was “6:00.”  It told me “12” when I still had 5 more miles.

With all these Garmin issues, this week I learned to be okay with being flexible.  I stopped when I knew I was right around 8 miles, even though my Garmin told me otherwise.  I was okay with that 6:07 mile that was supposed to be 6 flat. I stopped at 6 miles on the windiest running day of my life as Hudson just kept screaming.  I am all about pushing through, but sometimes when there is another little guy involved, you have to stop. Similarly to what I wrote about last week, things don’t revolve around me as the runner, but as the mom that runs, which is very different.  Cutting weekly mileage by 2 miles seems like no big deal, but it really bothered me.  I was planning on running 2 miles sometime later in day, but it just never happened and I never had the time to add it on to the other mileage in the week.  2 miles will not kill my training.  

So, in that case I adjusted, but later in the week on the long run when I was dying at mile 12, I pushed through and hit the 17 miles.  It is all about knowing when to push and when to stop. Monday, I needed to stop. Saturday, I needed to push.  

This is a lot of reflection to say one thing: running felt hard last week.  Once I hit 50 + miles, all my typical issues start rolling in.  My mind starts telling me how tired I am. My right leg starts flaring up.  My right hip starts tightening up. My feet start feeling extra fragile. It is on weeks like this, that the commitment and discipline start to really develop and for that, this week of training can still be deemed as a good week.

The Miles

53 miles was spread out like this:

  • 6 miles in the WIND with JOGGER.  Big mistake. 
  • 6 miles of park loops solo.
  • 10 miles with 2 miles at race pace and one mile faster.
  • 8 miles with jogger. Long. Some extra cardio involved as I had to sing to H to stop some of the crying.  Running with a jogger is WORK! 
  • 6 miles of park loops solo.
  • The big 17 miler with lots of uphill trails. 

One quick tangent on mileage.  This week, I was hit with mile comparison.  Sounds weird, but this is totally a thing. Let me explain.  I was listening to a podcast interview with this one runner who was trying to get an OTQ last fall.  She talked about running 90 mile weeks and how this is basically the mileage you need to hit to be super competitive in the marathon.  This got me feeling a bit panicky. I am still building in mileage, but even in my peak for this training cycle I will not be anywhere close to 90 mile weeks.  For one, I feel like I would really struggle being present to Hudson and secondly, I know my body pretty well and I think that would put it over the edge.  

I was struck with the fact that mileage comparison can even steal your joy when it comes to running.  The doubt immediately began to sink in and I began to question if some of my future running goals are even possible with running 60-70 miles at my very peak.  All this to say, weekly mileage is such a personal thing. The numbers that work for one person, might be way too little or way too much for the next. Run your mileage.  Do workouts that make sense for your season. Don’t get too focused on what all the other fast people are doing.

Really loving these sunrise runs. It is hard to see but there was a beautiful layer of fog on the field.

What I am Listening to

Not as much to say in this section this week.  Nothing that really stuck in my mind like previous weeks.  I will say, I had one solo run where I could not find my phone so just had a silent sunrise run and it was refreshing.  Especially with all the noise in my days, it is necessary to have some runs with nothing going on in the background.

More so than the podcasts I listened to, some of the conversations I had on the run stick out even more.  With all the solo running I do, I am always thankful for the miles that are made up with conversation and company.

How I am Fueling

  • Already over the bagel and cream cheese phase.  
  • Still into the coconut water.  
  • Trying a new protein powder, Orgain Organic Protein Powder.
  • El Gringo’s breakfast burrito post-17 miles.  

Recovery

Things are beginning to hurt.  Recovery is becoming more and more important.  As I alluded to before, when my run is done, I need to jump into mom things and don’t have a ton of recovery time.  With that said, here are a few things I have been doing this week to recover:

  • Hot showers. I know, weird type of recovery, but hey it’s practicable. The heat helps with my muscle tightness.
  • Epsom salt baths every Sunday night.
  • Lower back pain and tight hip flexors has brought me back to rolling out before bed.
  • Two words: Yoga Toes.  I have used these for years.  I put them on for a few minutes before bed.  I deal with a lot of foot pain and have a pretty bad bunion, so the yoga toes really helps provide needed relief! 
  • Naps.  Usually only get one per week, but this weekly nap really helps with my energy levels.

Cross-Training

The same.  I realized on my long run that my usual weak glutes are beginning to affect my hip flexors and lower back.  Hoping that continuing to go to Petra’s strength classes will help my very, very weak glutes. I am planning on incorporating even just 5 minutes every other day at home to use the bands and do some targeted glute strengthening exercises.

What I Keep Telling Myself

Stay in it. Stay in it. Stay in it.

This might be the mantra for Boston.  We will see. This is what I said when I kept looking down and seemed to not be able to break that 6:10 barrier on my tempo.  This is what I told myself at mile 12 when I wanted to cut the long run short. Stay in it. Yes, physically, but more so mentally.  When the pain sets in and things start to get really hard, it is easy for me to check out. I really want to focus on this and stay in it, mentally, even when the pain starts to settle in.

I am already picturing myself running up Heartbreak Hill and the words: stay in it, stay in it are pounding in my head and propelling me up.  

High + Low

HIGH

  • Pushing through and running 17 miles.
  • Wednesday workout and feeling controlled and confident.

low

  • Monday’s run in the wind and my sister and mom having to pick us up! True story.
  • The last painful few miles of my long run.
  • Overall more tired and less excited.

The Long Run

17 miler in Palos Verdes on Telephone Trail.  This is the last long run I will run on this trail.  There is so much soft-surface uphill. It is brutal. There is also a lot of rocky trails and I almost rolled my ankle multiple times.  These early hard miles put a greater fatigue on my body and made the final miles a real challenge for me.  

Even though it was a bit painful, I am proud I finished it.  I was very close to rounding up.   It will be nice to drop a bit next week and come back in two Saturdays and run an 18-miler and then the big 2-0.

The long run in numbers (there was a a few meters that I forgot to start up Garmin again, but I did do 17, I promise!)

2 hours 13 minutes

16.91 miles

7:54 minutes/mile average 

Fastest mile at mile 12: 6:49